The Picture

“Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life,
For which the first was made."
- Robert Browning


I saw a picture in the newspaper today,
It made my eyes mist over.
A simple picture
Of a couple holding hands and sitting side by side;
An enviable serenity in their eyes,
A curious calmness on their faces and a steady smile on their lips,
Two souls at peace with each other
Sitting in the comforting presence of each other,
They seemed in their twilight years
But what an utterly beautiful picture they made!
I felt a pang,
Some where deep inside a chord had been touched
It resonated within sending a strange warmth through my heart,
A contrast to the chill residing there.
I became acutely aware of the coldness within,
The lack of any warmth and instead
Finding only friendlessness and complete loneliness.

What must it feel like I ask myself
To sit beside the most important person in one’s life
Your better half, your soul mate, your spouse
And feel the years melt even as you gazed at the face
That you had seen every morning of your life!
Watch the long time passed in togetherness
Simply disappear down memory lane
Even as you reminisced and sighed.
It is utter joy, sheer bliss,
For what else can describe the feeling
Of being together for decades,
Of sharing in each other’s laughter and tears,
Giving each other a shoulder to cry on,
A pat on the back when things got tough,
And most important
Of “giving each other space”
As the lady so graciously says
In the article accompanying the newspaper photograph.
I try to imagine the times that must have been
While their hair turned gradually, first grey and then white
While lines slowly sprung up creasing their faces
Imbuing their souls with the wisdom of ages.

I sighed to myself
Deeply and with a great sadness tingeing my heart.
I wished I could have been different
From the selfish and self-centered creature
That stared out at me from the mirror every morning.
It has been only four months
Since I ventured upon this new journey of discovery.
Unsure, timid at first and rather too cautious,
My mind full of doubts and questions
Welling up deep within my nervous brain
Thinking about all those spheres where I could go wrong.
Perhaps I heard slights where none existed,
Perhaps I was too sensitive in my reactions,
To situations and in facing squarely up to circumstances
Maybe I should have been more guarded,
Restrained in my temper, my words and my judgments,
And maybe I should not have given myself over to pre-anticipating situations
And pre-judging people.
Perhaps I have been prejudiced
And guilty of needless pride and egotism
And not tried to understand or patiently hear out the other party.

But I feel suffocated
Is there anyone I can turn to for advice?
For answers to these questions and assumptions
Crowding around plaguing my mind
Is there no one who would be able to help?
Lord! Help me for I am scared
Of giving in and being lost to despair.
Help me God that I might find the courage
To help myself get out of this rut
That I seem to have got myself into.
Help me God that I may learn to think of others before myself;
Bring me closer to Yourself Lord
So that I might not give up but have faith in You.
I tell myself that You are there for me
Always guiding me and pointing me in the right direction.
Ever smiling down at me
And smoothening out the furrows lining my forehead.
I know I can be better;
Become a better human being,
Be compassionate and considerate,
Think less of my pains and gains,
And not value myself so highly,
As to get provoked into retaliating,
Over a harmless piece of humor,
And learn to laugh at myself and not others.

I want to be the lady in the picture
Sitting in benign bliss
Togetherness resting easy on my face,
As it is reflected on his face beside me.
It is a comforting one indeed
As both of us are part of it;
Both of us are there to live in it, to enjoy it
As we do each other’s company.
Living for each other and with each other,
(Perhaps the first ensures the latter!)
As the years pass by and age withers the body
Yet the spirit remains free and resilient to the last!
Fighting for each other and with each other (not against each other!)
Against all iniquities of time;
That would mean true happiness!
That would bring peace and joy everlasting
As was captured by a single click
By a lensman of a newspaper.
Magical and moving,
It remains etched in my memory,
A reminder of the fact
That reality is so much better than illusion;
And love, eternal as it is, is much more real than the self!