The Girl With the Pearly Smile

The first thing that you noticed about her was her smile,
And as soon as you spotted it,
You knew you'd found a friend for life.
Winsome and genuine, her eyes reflected it back,
Giving her face an ethereal appearance, a sprite-like quality.
Her frame too was small and slender
And the lightness of her footfalls, a gentle reminder
That her presence was always by your side,
Whether you saw her or not.

It was in the summer of 2002 that I first met her;
Rather, the end of the hot summer
And the monsoons just about to break out in full swing!
I'd just entered my Journalism class on the first day
And sat down at a table near the wall
Away from the first-row benches that I so detested.
The class itself was only half-full
As the students gradually made their way in
And the clock showed that there was a full 15 minutes
Before the teacher arrived.

It seemed that a discussion
On the then President of India was going on.
There was some confusion as to his initials
And then, suddenly I heard a small voice
Chirp somewhere behind me - 
"Avul Pakir Jainulabdeen Abdul Kalam!"
I turned around, and my eyes rested curiously on the speaker
Sitting couple of rows behind me, a little to the left.
She was simply yet elegantly dressed in a maroon kurta-pajama
A smallish figure with bright intelligent eyes
But the most arresting feature was her beautiful smile
Animating her entire face,
It seemed to radiate out and spread warmth
On whoever or whatever it alighted on.

Later on, when classes had finished
And a few of the hungry-thirsty
Had gathered in the cafeteria,
I saw her again.
She was having her favorite snack - the samosa
With her favorite beverage - "Ek cup garam chai!"
As I got to know her well,
Her fondness for tea
Became almost synonymous with her personality - 
On a tired day, when things became too much to handle
Just the fact that she was with you
Would make the day easier to bear.
She was like the refreshing breeze
Who livened up your senses
And activated dormant cells
By her infectious laughter
And inherent goodness of heart.

After getting our Diplomas,
We kept in touch over the years
But preoccupation with a full-time job
Cost me the opportunity to be in her company
More than I wanted to.
Time constraint never really permitted 
That close-knit bonding
That we had shared in our student days.
Distance too played a role
And the fact that we were located
A sizable distance apart even within
The National Capital didn't really help either.
Meetings had become infrequent
And we'd end up chatting
Over the phone more often than not.
We'd keep ourselves updated
On the events happening in our lives.
She told me about the
Seeming victory that she felt
Had been achieved over 
Her biggest enemy - the dreaded disease C
And I felt relieved and happy
That the monster that had reared its head
Towards the end of our course
And threatened to do her much harm
Had finally been subjugated.

It was in the Winter of 2002
That she had mentioned discomfort,
Pain and other symptoms that
Had we - her friends - been aware
Would have recognized as
The onset of something serious.
But ignorant as we were,
We urged her to simply seek medical advice
Unsure about the illness that plagued her.
It was only months later,
When the disease had advanced undetected
Into a life-threatening one
That we came face to face
With the reality that stunned us all.
She was seriously ill
And would need urgent surgery
Plus stringent rehabilitation
Both physical and psychological
To fend off the disease
And get back on the road to recovery.

After extensive treatment
That spanned years
And involved unbearable pain and suffering 
And coming to grips with the harsh reality
She seemed to have got
Some semblance of her old life back on track.
Soon, she began working full time
And everyone believed she had won the battle.
She had survived and conquered her Oppressor
Undaunted by the magnitude of her adversary
Through her courageous and resilient spirit
She had shown what it was to strive
And emerge a winner
Amazing everyone who knew her
By her will and ability to lead a normal life
After all she had been through

After her initial detection and treatment
Doctors had predicted a short life span.
But she astounded the medical fraternity
By surviving for a whole decade more.
And she was not just a survivor,
She lived her life to the full
During that final decade of her life,
Working as a reporter for a magazine
Writing feature stories
About travelling and life - 
A topic that she loved.

I vividly remember that last time
When I had seen her alright
When we'd gone to the market together.
She was hopeful and fearful at the same time.
It was the day before the test results
Of her periodic check up were to come out
She seemed strangely uneasy - 
Nervous, anxious, praying that all went well,
And hopeful that God might not want to test her again.
I comforted her saying that everything would be fine
That the test results would come out negative
As on previous occasions.
She seemed to want to believe my words
But there was a strand of doubt
That hung around her face,
Clouding her otherwise bright and cheerful features.
We parted on an uneasy note.
Her anxiety had passed onto me
And I fervently prayed
That her results would come out fine.

Sadly for all of us,
What we hoped was not to be.
The results came out positive
Showing that the disease
Had come back strongly.
We felt our hopes dying
I could not fathom
What her family were going through.
It seemed the cruelest turn of Fate
That the disease had sneaked
Back into her life
Turning it into turmoil.
The clock seemed to have reversed - 
The same patterns of treatment
And the same pain and suffering.
Only this time, the magnitude was greater.
Her condition gradually deteriorated
As her weakened body started to lose the battle
That her brave spirit had fought 
Determinedly for so long.
Those close to her, who were by her side
During those final months
Were witness to a suffering so painful
That it was hard not to rail against God

During that trying time, I saw her at her home once
After a gap of almost a year.
I had been living far away in another State
And had come to visit my parents.
She had lost the power of her sight by then.
I held her hand and sat beside her.
Seeing her like that,
I could not hold my tears in.
I bowed my head and wept silently,
Not wanting her to know, 
Even as her father stood next to her.
But she, dear soul,
Felt the spasms that shook my body
And started to cry too.

Not long afterwards,
While I was outside the country,
I received the sad news of her demise.
It seemed unreal at that instant
To know that someone you'd seen
Only months before was no more
That you never see her or talk to her again
I found it hard to believe
That my last meeting with her
Had been the final one.
I had been waiting for news that
She would be better
Somehow that she would be able to
Beat back the disease again.
But it never happened.
All I remember is the fight
She had fought and the way
She had kept the dreaded C at bay
For longer than her doctors had believed.

As a person she was probably
The most courageous that I have known
Fighting her battles big and small
With a silent yet steely determination
And if ever there was a doubt, a tremor
On those lips that knew only to smile
At everyone and everything,
She never once did betray that fear.

I knew her only for a decade
Yet, even ten years seem less
When compared to the riches
She gave away freely
Of kindness and compassion
And understanding sans words.
I wish that she could have lived 
A longer life, a fuller one
With all the joys and comforts
That girls everywhere dream of.
I wish I had been able
To spend more time with her than I did
And above all I wish she were here with me
And I could listen to her voice
And see her smile
The smile that made you
Want to hold her hand and be with her
A friend to the girl with the pearly smile!